“The 4 deaths of the Living “

By Natasha.Dezonie

Many of us are dying in relationships instead of growing together. You know the type of relationship where neither one of us feels “safe”  and walking around  on eggshells. We both saying to ourselves“I just can’t be myself here”, we live in that control / conditional love and  tirelessly doing things to prove our self worth or  live up to some  “imagine  role we created’  “ I’m a good man or woman”.The guilty conscience programming takes over “I have to stay here for the kids” and  “maybe he/she will change.” Or that comparison voice “So many other people have it worse than I do.”Don’t forget “but we look so good together ” the false sense of power couple type. 

Death number 2 

Dying on jobs but nah we gotta to  do that 25-30 years to life for some company benefits,pension/retirement or pay bills and get money(no matter how much stress or out of alignment the job is with our DEEPEST inner truth,even at the cost of spending less time with  our families/ loved ones,  and not to mention the mental/ physical/spiritual stress on our whole being.The truth is…..if you die today, your job will be posted tomorrow (but I gotta serve this time). Do you?

Death number 3 

Many of us died with traumatic events we never get to meet our authentic selves outside of the trauma. Maybe for you  it was the death of loved one, phyical /sexual abuse,rape or the silent killer emotional abuse that cause you to lose your soul ( we become  stuck in the cylce of trauma). Our minds and world are stuck in survival mode and autopilot.In our minds, we only have access to survival channels 

1.Fight

2.Freeze 

3.Flee

4.Fawn

Like a broken record we endlessly loop over  our  past and can only imagine a forsaken future because of all the past hurt.We become puppets to our past traumas and the puppet masters know exactly what trigger buttons to push that sent us back in time to that alone scared little boy or girl.The question here is  who is the real puppet master controlling us? Is it some Internal or external force?. Which part do we attribute to our own minds or  the world ?

The 4th death

Many of us  died with that dream or idea. 

Langston Hughes asked “What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? Maybe it just sags like a heavy load.Or does it explode?” We tried once or twice at that “thing” , FAILED at it ,gave up and never tried again. We never maximize our fullest potential in our lifetime. We become Frozen in fear, anxiety or “what will they think of me” and imagine thoughts of failure. Which living death are you/we Choosing?